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Doomed Planet

Nov 23, 2023

#105: My lesbian friends and their degenerate black criminal associate arrived at my junk food feast. Then the bible-thrasher neighbor kid said a prayer thanking the aboriginals for dying of European diseases in great numbers before the settler-colonials from that part of the world were able to slaughter them, saving money on bullets and concentration camp construction costs.

Parents in 1973 were giving their kids copious amounts of LSD - the only explanation for how I thought a beagle and a tiny wild animal could cook toast on Thanksgiving. Luckily, most suburban families back then owned nine toasters.

I'd learn later that the dog and the bird had captured the bird's mother that day, killed her and then devoured her raw mutilated corpse.

They fought viciously over her last remaining bone, then devoured a pumpkin pie flavored with her blood.

This is Doomed Planet's contribution to Mechanical Freak's 5th Annual Thanksgiving Pageant Spectacular. Listen here:


Doomed Planet